Trying To Forget Her And Trying To Control My Emotions Towards Her

No matter how much i try,no matter how much i want to forget,i still can't forget my love towards you.I am trying very hard to forget you but no matter how much i try,YOU will keep appearing on my mind.Everynight when i sleep,i always think about you even if i don't want to,why can't i forget you? I want to forget you but it seems that no matter how much i try,my emotions always let me down.Everyday when i am in school,i always have the awkward feeling that you left me not because that you were not stable in your love life but it was because you had your heart for someone else.It really hurts me to see that there is a person who share the same interest as you do but i don't.No matter how much my brothers and sisters at school tell me to forget about you,it seems that i can't.Even if i wish not to stay with you,it seems that i still can't forget you.

My emotions are mixed up,i don't know whether i should be depressed,angry or happy after what i've seen today in school.Why can't my emotions just disappear so i can't feel depressed nor hurt?I hate to be this way but it seems i can't control my emotions,i want to be a person with no emotions so i can't feel the pain that is inside my heart now.You will not understand how much pain i am in now,i doubt that you even care if i'm still hurt or not.You have always been selfish and only care about what your decision is,you never care about what other people decision may be.No matter how selfish you are,you will still appear in my mind.Why can't i just move on with my life? I don't want to stay this way but still my emotions let me down.

I have been trying to be strong everyday,no matter how much i force myself to be happy in school.Whenever i see you i will still feel the pain and depression that you gave when we broke up.Why can't my emotions fade away until i become unemotional? Please just let me move on with my life,i don't want to be depressed and hurt over a girl like you.I hate how i am now,not able to smile whenever i want to.Will my emotions only be filled up with depression,sadness and pain?

What should i do now? Should i try hard to forget about her? Should i try my best to regain her love or should i just suicide and end my life just like that? I am so confused with my emotions,i am so lost.

SHE'S GONE,LONG GONE

Whatever you told me that time when we were together was it true? When u said to me i love you as much as before,i believe you whole-heartedly,when u told me how much important i was to you,i gave you my trust.Why was i so stupid to not have seen your true colours?? Why do everytime when i end up with you things just don't change for the better?? Your a person who is not constant in your love life and why did you tell me when we were together that you were sure you love life is constant?? So the whole time,everything that you told me,was it all just a LIE?? Am i just a paper that you can throw away everytime you don't need me?? Everyday i prayed that our relationship will stay the same but it looks like that prayer won't be granted.

Thank you for opening my eyes and shown me that no matter how much the person looks sacred,they must not be trusted,looks can be deceiving as they said and it is true.Although you look sacred and innocent,but inside of you theres a devil that helps you to hurt people.When you told me that your love life was not constant,i tried to help you but in the end you didn't want to help yourself so rather then to waste my time on you anymore,so i chose the easiest way to end it clearly "lets end our relationship". i don't need a person who is not constant in her love life in my life,my world just doesn't want me to revolve around you anymore.Your wasting my time on a hurtfull person like YOU.

Love,Happiness are just memories that we had and they will fade away in your and my heart.I don't want to remember anything that has to do with the likes of YOU.Keep in mind that no matter where you go,you'll always be hiding in a shadow or your past.I may not be your type of person but even if u did found your prince charming,bear in mind that he'll leave you for your Immaturity.

SHE'S GONE,LONG GONE and she won't be coming back

When u said you'll love me me,i love you back 100%,when you told me you wanna keep our relationship long,i believe you 100%,when you said i'll always be your boyfriend,I trusted you 100%.In the end,your love towards me just fade away,fade away until it end up all wrong.What was i to you the whole time? Was i just a paper,which you could tear and throw away to the dustbin everytime you did a mistake?? I was so stupid to believe every word you said to me.Fuck you and fuck your life,i have been played and i am so hurt.You vowed to stay with me but in the end u hurt me like that.



Love,Happiness that i spent with you,i'll forget everything coz i don't need a bitch like you in my life.Although i can't forget you but i don't wanna waste my time loving and believing you like i did when we went back together.Your love is and always will just be a lie and you'll be leaving in a world of lies.Now you've open my eyes and shown me that you're not to be trusted and i was so blind to not have seen your real face,and now you've shown me that you're a person who is not stable in your love life and i was wrong to not believe what my sister said about your type.Once not stable will always not BE stable.



Sadness,Anger and Depression wanders inside of me now,you've have hurt me until the max and i am so lost now.Alchohol and Cigarettes are things that will help me push away my Sadness,Anger and Depression.How i regretted to even give you a chance before,now even if you did love me back,i will never give you the chance nor am i going to be stupid to accept you again.My world just doesn't revolve around you,i can live my life without you,you will always be living in a world with full of lies.



Brothers and Sisters of mine,don't be worried coz i'll get over it eventually,just give me some time to clear my depression.I am thankfull that i have brothers and sisters like you who will always be there for me.I'll always live my life to the fullest no matter how depressed i am.

Please forgive me

Forgive me when i left you in kian kok all alone, i was forced to company my friend to go to the national zoo.I didn't want to leave you and i really wanted to be there to support you but all of a sudden my friend just forced me to go with him to the national park and i felt really bad if i rejected his request,please understand i really wanted to be there for you. Blame my heart for being to soft and blame me for not showing you how much you are to me,why can't i show you how much you are to me?

I want you to know that no matter what happens between us i would always love you,you saved me from the dark and brought me back to the light and gave me hope again in our relationship.Once when we broke up,i thought it was the end of the world for me and i tried my best to earn you back but in the end i was rejected.After that day,everyday when i went to school whenever i saw you,all i can feel is that my heart was aching and i was really depressed.After a while,when i nearly chose to give up on us,you suddenly told me that you love me back and it made me very very happy but i wasn't ready to accept you yet. Still in the end,we end up back together and i vowed that this time i must not lose you anymore.I vowed that i must show u how much i love you and how much you are to me.I would even change myself if it would make you happy,but please understand that there are somethings that are hard for me to change.

Please forgive me for being selfish and non caring,i promise that this time it won't happen again.Everyday i am changing myself for you and for myself but mainly its for you because i want you my dear to stop worrying about me and i want to show you that i can change myself for you.Please forgive me when i didn't trust you,i was afraid that you were going to make the same decision as you did on our previous relationship.I was really worried that i'll lose you again.Now i choose to trust and love you 100% and i want you my dear to know that no one will be able to change my love towards you and that you will always be my one and only and most important person in my life.Without you i can't live,without your love i can't sleep,without your love i don't think i can even live.So please forgive me my dear,i trully am really sorry.

Caring for my mom and she doesn't appreciate it

Today,when i came back from home,my mom was sitting at the couch and she was watching t.v. She started scolding me about finishing the toothpaste to fast,and told me that any1 who use toothpaste can last about 1-2months.Seriously?? I actually don't believe and she start scolding me. After that,she told me about the car and she was planning to bring it to the workshop as she had she met with an accident on the road a few days ago. I was worried about her and i told her not to drive temporaly and suddenly she just started scolding.

Caring for my mom and in return she gave me a scolding. Is it wrong for me to care about her?? Seriously i don't understand why whenever i try to help her,she just ask me to mind my own business and don get involve. I'm not trying to get involve in her situation but i'm realy worried about her.

Everday,i just want to sleep and nvr wake up.I just don't want to wake up everday and keep on worrying about my mom and so many stuff,i just really just wana sleep and forget all this pain.Caring for my mom and in the end she never appreciated it.Sadness everyday, Happiness is just and illusion,Love of a family fades everyday,I nvr wanna wake up from my sleep if i had the chance. Why can't i just die??

Life In My House

A big house where most of the things are provided but it leads to emptiness.In this house,although it is big,there is nothing inside.There is no warmness of a family nor the feeling of family love,how i wish i could turn back time and stop my parents from making the wrong decision.Will sadness and pain be all there is left in my life? Or maybe someday it will all turn out well?

Nope,i've been waiting so long and it seems that everyday it just doesn't change for the better,everyday it just ends up worse.Please just give me 1 wish,1 wish only,i wouldn't use it for wealth nor what so ever,i just want my mom and dad to return the way they were last time.I have nothing more to wish for,i just wanna have a simple life

Myself

Romeo's the name and im 17 this year and its my last year here in kk,I am planning to study at Gold Coast,Australia after SPM. Staying in kk only makes me remember my memories with my friends only. I don't have any memories with my family at all because i don't have a real family. Memories at kk will just fade away when i grow up. Nothing to be remembered,nothing to love,nothing to care about,the only thing i can care and love in this life in kk is my sister. Goodbye to my memories as you will be long gone when i am done with this place